


Harder to Ignore It

by HopeYouAlwaysStay



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AKA Ben and Rey, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anti-Hero, Armitage Hux Being An Asshole, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Child Abuse, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Finn Needs A Hug, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Parent Han Solo, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jakku sucks, Jedi Ben Solo, Kinda, M/M, Multi, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Scavenger Ben Solo, begrudgingly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:18:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeYouAlwaysStay/pseuds/HopeYouAlwaysStay
Summary: At sixteen Ben Solo never thought he'd be crash landing on Jakku, running from the First Order and the ghosts of his past. Here he was, though, scavanging on the junkyard of a planet with no other company than a bunch of asshole scavengers and one scrappy little girl.





	1. Berry the (Not) Resistance Fighter

Ben totally crash landed on the planet, he's ashamed to admit. The ship he's stolen from the First Order, a practically ancient TIE fighter that was essentially a hunk of garbage, broke through the Inner Rim planet of Jakku's atmosphere and sent him hurtling to the ground. He'd managed to flee the ship in a flurry of dust and smoke before the thing went up in flames, leaving him with torn up padawan robes and a bag slung over his shoulder. There was still a bloody imprint of his shoulder in the shape of a hand; Ictus Ren had found him in the forest, fleeing from his own uncle who'd drawn a lightsaber on him in bed. Fleeing from the sounds of screams and the voice that tried to coax him back, to join in on the bloodbath. Snoke, he knew the voice as now, had sent his force sensitive guard to capture him and other compliant padawans of promise; the Knights of Ren. Six of them, glad in black robes and masks, raining fire down upon the academy.

Ictus Ren had dragged him back to the ship where only one other former padawan sat, hands shaking and covered in blood. The knights escorted them back to the Supremacy, dragged them before Snoke and allowed them to be judged. Few words were exchanged before Snoke waved a hand, breaking his fellow padawan's neck and leaving his body crippled on the ground. Ben forced whatever food left in his stomach down and, as he was escorted from the throne room by Snoke's eight-member, very human praetorian guard, asked to take a piss in the stalls and bolted out a window to the hallway once he had privacy.

So here he was. Jakku. The flying ball of dirt in space. The junkyard. On all sides sand surrounded him and he could hardly see anything, so the sixteen-year-old fetched the pocket knife from his bag rather than the practice saber that rested there as well and set off for the nearest outpost.

* * *

_Nine years later, Niima Outpost._

"Two quarter rations."

Stomach rolling in hunger and protest, Ben glared at Unkar Plutt with as much heat as he could manage and snapped out, "At least two whole rations. That's nearly half of an Imperial engine-!"

"Two. Quarter. Rations."

"At least two, or you won't get the parts." The dark haired man snapped, "And I doubt any other scavenger will get  _that_ kind of engine piece intact."

Using the force to levitate parts of an engine out of a Star Destroyer was probably blatant misuse of the force, but he didn't particularly give a shit when his stomach was growling.

" _Listen_ , Naberrie, you'll take the two quarter rations or I'll beat you, take the parts, and you'll get nothing."

Clenching his teeth, he swiped the quarter plastic baggies off the counter and turned sharply, remembering the last time Plutt set his cronies after him. He'd been ready to mount his speeder  when he sensed them, but hadn't turned fast enough to avoid a blow to the head. Then again, later that night they weren't fast enough to avoid his knife. Ignoring the same scene playing out between the junk master and the scavenger in line behind him, he shoved the rations in his bag and pulled the thing, gauze like material over his face to protect him from the whipping winds and the sand that flew about every which way. Kriff, he hated sand.

"Get your doshin' hands off of me!" He heard a grunt, then a sound like the whip of wood against a body.

Rey spun her staff, knocking one thug under the chin as one approached her from behind. Ben flicked open the pocket knife, taking one long step to where the fight was being passively watched by the rest of the outpost and grabbed the thug by the neck, holding the blade to his jugular. Rey kicked the one on the ground in the temple, knocking him out, and spun around to do the same to the one Ben held. She rammed the sandy end of her staff on his forehead, and he dropped from Ben's hand's like a sack of old parts.

Rey panted out a harsh breath, "Sod it."

Snorting, he flipped the knife closed and looked around, "What in the stars do you have that he wants so bad, scrappy?"

Wordlessly, she reached and tore a burlap sack from...a droid? Ben blinked, eyes widening as he recognized Poe's old companion BB-8 unit. Turning and planning to haul ass as fast as he could out of Niima, he was stopped by Rey's grip of one of his sleeves.

"What's got you having kittens, Berry boy?" Her tone was mocking but her smile was genuine, "I haven't seen you in months. The Outpost has been quite depressing without you glaring Teedo into submission every day."

Ben kept his eyes locked on the droid that seemed frozen in place, it's head swiveled towards him, "I've been working on that Imperial engine. Plutt was a real ass; only two-quarter rations."

Rey snorted, opening her mouth to get a word out when suddenly the droid made a loud whirring noise, rolling its circular body straight into Ben's knees. Catching his balance last minute, he glared down at BB-8, who was content to let out beeps and bleeps about how he never thought he'd see him again.

"The droid knows you?" Rey raised an eyebrow, "He's not from Jakku, though."

"Neither am I." Ben huffed, yelping slightly as BB-8 extended a mechanical arm to shock him in the leg, "Stop it, or I swear I'll use you for scrap metal!"

The droid let out another angry whirl, rolling back to ram himself into Ben's knees once more. The tall youth simply held a leg out, planting one foot squarely on BB-8's spherical body. The droid tried to ram forward, only to dig himself into the sand as he was held in place by one booted foot.

"Oh, that's just mean." His fellow scavenger frowned, "Poor droid will have sand in his gears forever."

"Why are you here, BB-8?" Ben glared down as the droid popped out of the sand, "Is...is the resistance here?"

The droid looked ready to ram him again when something caught its attention, it's head swiveling to look at something through the crowd. He let out a loud noise, something like gears grinding and creaking, and both Rey and Ben glanced at each other.

"Thief?" She asked him, "Who...?"

She followed the droid's gaze to settle on a young man maybe twenty feet from them, wearing a worn brown jacket. Ben's heart sank involuntarily, "Poe's jacket."

"That's the thief?" Rey gestured with her staff and took off as soon as the droid bobbed its head.

Ben blinked, watching her go before groaning, "Kriffing hell, Rey, really?"

He ran after the two, the dark-skinned man ducking desperately through tents and around corners, trying to escape, but it was inevitable in the end. When Rey wanted to whack someone with that damned stick of hers, she'd do it. Catching up, BB-8 came to a sudden stop right as it knocked into the back of his knees, sending him jolting forwards. Snarling slightly as Rey gave her speech about thievery and honor to the man on the ground, he turned to the droid.

"If you knock into me one more time, I'll feed you to a sarlacc!"

The droid made another whirling noise, followed by several beeps.

"I don't care if there's not one on Jakku, I'll drag you all the way to Vodran if I have to, you metal trashcan!"

A series of gear grindings and a mechanical arm poked out, shooting sparks at him.

"Oh, don't try me-!"

"Ben." Rey's exasperated voice cut through the not-so one-sided argument, "He knows about that Poe guy."

The droid's head rolled around to the guy still trapped under Rey's staff, and Ben spared him a curious look as well, "Like I said, it belonged to Poe Dameron. He got captured by the First Order, I helped him escape but...our ship crashed." 

The guy spared a look at BB-8 and Ben himself before glancing away, "Poe didn't make it. Look, I...I tried to help him."

The droid slowly retracted its mechanical arm, head seeming to sag under the weight of the news. Turning around, it began to roll away when Ben let out a harsh, scathing laugh.

"If Poe died, you'd be dead, too." He snapped, heart clenching at the thought of his old friend burning under ship rubble, "Poe was the most gifted pilot in the Resistance, even at 18, when I-"

He cut himself off, but Rey's wide eyes were already on him, "You were with the Resistance? Why'd you come to Jakku?"

The guy on the ground had the freedom to nod along as Rey dropped her staff, "Really though. No offense, but this place is a junkyard."

"You're...not wrong."

They both ignored Rey's insulted look.

"You." Ben nodded to him sharply, "You're with the Resistance now?"

"Uh..." He faltered slightly but, under Rey's curious look, he managed to scramble up quite smoothly, nodding with what almost seemed like confidence, "Y-yes. Yes I am. I'm with the Resistance, I am  _with_ the Resistance."

Ben already felt a headache forming around his temples.

"I've never met a Resistance fighter before." Rey faltered, "Well...there's Berry, I guess, but he's really just a grouch."

"Well, this is what we look like." He nodded firmly before faltering, "Well, some of us. Others look different...like Berry."

"My name is not Berry and if you call me that again I'll run you through." Ben snapped, crossed his arms, "It's Ben. Ben Naberrie."

Naberrie. The lesser known name of his grandmother, still holding sentimental value but safe enough for him to use. Solo would draw too much attention, as would Skywalker and Organa. Not that he claimed any of those names; they were as dead to him as the rest of his past. Those names brought nothing but memories of pain and betrayal. All he could cling to now was hope, just as his mother used to say his grandmother had before she died. All he had left was the future he made and all he had to keep doing was burning his past to the ground. Too bad it wouldn't stay dead.

"Berry." Rey nodded solemnly, "Your name, Resistance fighter?"

"FN-" He stopped, "Finn. It's Finn."

"Well, FN Finn," Rey's smiled was almost contagious, "BB-8 says he's on a secret mission. He needs to get back to your base as soon as possible."

"The map." Finn muttered, "Apparently he's got a map to Luke Skywalker. Everyone's after it; the Resistance  _and_ the First Order."

Now seemed to be a good time for him to kriff off, Ben thought, taking a step backwards. The damned metal trashcan knocked him forwards once more with quiet beeps of protest.

"Luke Skywalker?" Ben cringed as Rey quietly repeated the name with reverence and the droid turned around once more, "I thought he was a myth!"

BB-8 let out a loud series of fast beeps, drawing the three's attention. Across the way, two stormtroopers, of all kriffing things, spoke to a group of scavengers that pointed right at them.

Finn grabbed Ben and Rey by the arm and hand respectively, igniting a series of snapped protests from them both. He dragged them both away as the troopers opened fire, BB-8 kicking up dust as it stayed hot on their tails. Ben ripped his arm from Finn, picking up speed as Rey did the same.

"I know how to run without you holding my hand!" She and Ben made a sharp right, "This way! BB-8, stay close!"

They ducked into a tent, the shooting continuing some distance away outside.

"They were shooting at all of us!" Rey rounded on Finn, "Why not just you?"

"They saw you with me." He rifled around in the piled of junk around them, "You're marked."

"Kriffing thanks." Ben snarled out, reaching viciously into his bag to pull out his old knife.

"Does no one around here have blasters?" Finn groaned as Rey reached down to check on the droid.

"Be quiet." Ben snapped, "Shut up, all of you. Hear that?"

A loud noise came from outside, a sweeping sound that could only be one thing.

"Airstrike." Finn's eyes widened, "We need to go!"

Explosions rained from the sky as they fled the cover of the tent, running straight through the gates of the Outpost and out into the sandy fields filled with old junk and a few ships. Ben looked over at Rey, having to yell to break through the chaos, "Quadjumper?"

"What are you guys doing?" Finn screamed, "We can't outrun them!"

"In that, we can!" Rey pointed to the Quadjumper Ben had referred to, "Come on!"

"We need a pilot!"

"We've got one!" Rey screamed back, heading straight for the ship.

"You?" Finn's voice was incredulous, "Besides, what about that ship?"

"That's garbage!" The scavenger woman shook her head, staying on course.

A TIE fighter flew overhead, and the Quadjumper went up in flames and a huge explosion. Rey stumbled back a few feet, looking at them with wide eyes, "The garbage will do!"

As they ran for the ship, Ben cursed every single God there was or wasn't. Of course, it'd be the Millennium Falcon. Of kriffing course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Ben Naberrie has quite the swearing problem. And the whole existing problem. He hasn't had a good nine years if you can tell.
> 
> FOR TIMELINE PURPOSES: Ben was about 16 when all the shit went down with the First Order and Luke. He arrived at Jakku right when little Rey showed up. He's about 25 now, spent nearly nine years on Jakku hiding. Poe is nearly 27. Rey is about 18, Finn is about 20-ish. This is going off canon birthdates pretty close, or so the wiki tells me.
> 
> Also Ben low-key wants to be like his grandma (hence Naberrie) and not give three shits about the force, but when does Ben ever get what he wants. Also, yes, Rey has been calling him Berry boy for all the nine years they've known each other. She's definitely his annoying kid sister, and it fits with the Han basically being her dad motif so I'm rolling with it.


	2. A Good Ole Family Reunion

"The gunner position is down there!" Rey yelled before disappearing deeper into the ship where Ben knew the pilot's cabin was.

"Does she expect us to-?" Finn looked at Ben with wide eyes, but the scavenger was already brushing past him and jumping into the small gunner's seat, forgoing the ladder entirely. Finn blinked, wide eyed, before turning, "You ever fly this thing?"

"No! This ship hasn't flown in years!" Her voice was muffled by BB-8's beeping, and Finn looked back down at the ladder.

"Great-"

"Kriff!" He heard Ben snap down below, and Finn poked his head down to see the seat jerking him about.

"You need some help?"

"It's obvious this thing hasn't flown is years! Kriffing junk is what it is!" The engine whirled to life, the ship tilting sideways as it took off. Ben smashed into the wall with a great thud before snarling and righting himself in the seat, "Shit, scrappy, can you actually fly this!"

"Shove it, Berry!"

Finn groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. He was going to die. After escaping the Finalizer, crashing on a sandy junkyard, serving said crash going up in flames, and giving First Order troops the slip, he was going to die in a ship wreck. Before the ship  _even got off the planet_ , mind you. The whole metal coffin rumbled, making Finn grab the wall and Ben curse colorfully as Rey's piloting took the roof clean off Unkar Plutt's outpost. They could see the man shaking his fists and yelling through the windows of the gunner's position, and the male scavenger in the seat snorted before firing off a shot, sending a whole pile of the junk boss's so-called treasures up in flames.

"Petty." Finn laughed slightly.

"If you knew him you'd be petty too." Ben sneered below him, "Never thought I'd leave this place."

The First Order ships came at them fast, and Finn scaled the ladder to poke his head out, "Stay low! Stay low!"

"What?" Rey yelled from the cock pit, " _Low_?"

"It confuses their tracking!" Things were blowing up all around them, Finn just  _knew_ , "It's because the- you know what, just trust me!"

The whole ship spun and both BB-8 and Finn crashed into the ceiling and then the floor as the TI fighters began to fire at them, a shot grazing the ship and making it tilt slightly. Finn scrambled to his feet, "Do you even have the shields up?"

"Not without a co-pilot!"

Before she was even done speaking, Ben was leaping out of the gunner's pit and shoving Finn towards it, "Hit the red buttons and aim! I'll be back!"

He took off running, the droid knitting at his heels, and Finn sighing before diving below. It couldn't be  _that_ hard.

Ben slid down the hallways, rushing into the pilot's cabin and shoving his hand on the button the activate the shields before Rey could finish reaching. He slid into the co-pilot's seat, throwing the headset on and grabbing the controls before him. It was too familiar.

"Is Finn even shooting?" Rey muttered, turning her head to yell, "Are you even shooting?"

"Not in my damn ear, scrappy." Ben muttered, flipping the switches to up the speed, "Get us some cover!"

"On it!" She gunned the steering controls, pushing them towards the Battleship Graveyard that the two scavengers knew by heart, "Ben! Help him shoot!"

A TI fighter went down in a shock of sparks, crashing into the sand and rubble below them. Ben raised an eyebrow, "I think he's doing fine!"

"Thank you! See, even Berry thinks I'm-!" Finn's voice was cut out as Rey took a sharp right into the bowels of a gutted ship, "Watch it!"

"Call me that again and I'll shove you out of this kriffing ship!" Ben switched the lights on, "One more to go!"

Rey shot them out of the ship last minute, flying high before cutting the engine, making a sudden drop. The last hit was a direct one, the First Order blasting to pieces mid-air. Activating the engines again, she piloted the ship up as Ben turned on the hyper drive, allowing them to break through the oppressive atmosphere of Jakku and into the space beyond it. Right as Ben set the auto pilot on, alarms began to blare. 

"Kriff!" Ben jumped up at the same time Rey did, running into the entrance compartment of the ship where Finn crawled from the gunner's seat, "What is  _that_?"

"Somethings wrong..." Rey looked at the floor, smoke rising from one spot near the center, "There."

Pulling the grate up, she pushed it aside and slid in while Ben dragged one of the stray boxes of tools out with Finn. She groaned from inside the floor, "It's the motivator!"

"How bad it that?" Finn looked between where she was and Ben with wide eyes, "Like, on a scale."

"Close to a ten." Ben sighed, throwing a few tools into the hole where their makeshift repair-woman was.

"They're hunting us now." The former storm trooper dug around in the boxes, looking for something of use, "We need to get out of this system fast!"

"BB-8 said the location of the resistance base is need to know. If I'm going to take you there, I need to know." She popped her head up, accepting a role of tape before going back under, "Preferably soon."

Ben gave Finn an expectant look, but when the other man just stared back at him with wide eyes, he gave BB-8 a scathing look. The droid beeped quietly.

"You-? What-?" Ben blinked, pure shock the expression on his face before his expression fell into a snarl, leaning down to hiss so only the droid could hear him, "I've never been with the kriffing First Order, why the fuck do you think I ran away when Snoke  _kidnapped me_? He literally sent a damn force using knight to abduct me from the forest where I happened to be  _fleeing_ the carnage, you bucket of bolts! So tell us the location before I drop you back on Jakku and leave you to rust while I go find a nice tropical planet to lounge on!"

BB-8 made an offended whirling noise before beeping at Rey so she could hear.

"The Ileenium System?" Rey and Ben snapped at the same time. 

"Yes!" Finn nodded, giving the droid a thumbs up when they both looked away, "The Ileenium System!"

"We'll get you both there as soon as possible." Rey nodded firmly before glancing down, "Now hand me the bonding tape."

"What about you two?"

She shared a look with Ben, who just shrugged, before responding, "We've gotta get back to Jakku."

Finn snatched a roll of... _something_ , before giving her an incredulous look, " _Back to Jakku_? Why does everyone wanna go back to  _Jakku_?"

"No, not that one." Rey pointed, "No. No."

Finn kept scrambling for different objects in the general area.

"The one I'm  _pointing at_." Rey shook her head, "No, no,  _no_! This will leak  _poisonous gas everywhere_ if I don't bond this-!"

"Kriffing hell!" Ben grabbed the small roll of yellow tape and tossed it to her.

"Thank you." She pressed the tape over everything, stopping the smoke from leaking.

"Why do you want to go back to Jakku?" He looked at them critically, "You got family there?"

"None of your business." They replied in sync, though Rey sounded a bit more amicable.

"That's just creepy." Finn muttered, "I don't-"

The lights shut down all around them, the engine stalling as everything went dark except for the scarce few red emergency lights.

"That can't be good." Finn breathed, "Can it?"

"No." Rey pulled herself out of the floor, and the three rushed for the pilot's cabin. Rey and Ben sat down, pushing any buttons they could, but none responded.

"Someone's docked onto us." Ben looked at her with grim eyes.

"Which means all controls are overridden." Rey groaned, standing up and using Ben's head to balance as she climbed to get a better view.

"Scrappy-! Get off-!" He shoved her hand off his head, readjusting the pony-tail. 

"See anything?" Finn craned his neck, trying to get a glance.

"Oh no." Rey breathed.

Finn's eyes widened as they were slowly sucked into the docking ship, "It's the First Order."

Ben sneered, clenching his fists. Rey shook her head, "There has to be something-"

"The poisonous gas." Finn looked up.

"I fixed that." Rey's brow furrowed.

"Can you unfix it?" 

The four of them took off down the hallway, Finn and Rey helping BB-8 into the floor while Ben grabbed the oxygen masks. Finn fell with a hard thud, the droid on top of him, and the two scavengers leaped down right after. Ben pulled the grate over, sending a skeptical glance at Finn.

"You sure this'll work?"

"Yeah, their masks filter out smoke, not toxins." The lights came back on and they heard the door begin to slide open, "Hurry!"

"Hurrying!" Rey muttered as they all pulled their masks on.

The door clacked open, and they heard a set of footsteps clang against the metal. Finn looked confused, whispering, "There'd be more than one."

Then Ben heard the voice. 

"Chewie...we're home."

Freezing, he couldn't stop the snarl that ripped out of his throat, "Kriffing fuck!"

Rey smacked his shoulder with the wrench  _hard_ as two sets of footsteps approached, one set significantly heavier. Suddenly the grate was ripped up and Ben accepted his fate. It sort of felt like an out of body experience, simultaneously wanting to throw himself out the airlock as he cursed the force and every single other deity that might be out there. Suddenly Han Solo was above them, pointing a blaster down into the hole where they stood.

"Where are the others?" He snapped out, "Where's the pilot?"

"I'm the pilot!" Rey yelped out around her mask.

Han raised his eyebrows, "You?"

Then his eyes fell on Ben and widened dramatically, "What-?"

Chewie looked around the grate and let out a big roar, sounding moderately heartbroken. Ben, still understanding Wookie quite well, grimaced.

"Ben?" Han breathed, dropping the blaster for a second before it came back up, "Then...the First Order is here?"

At the question, though it sounded more like a statement of fact, Rey shook her head fiercely, "No! We're running  _from_ the First Order! And...how do you know Berry?"

"Kriff, Rey!" Ben tugged the mask off his face, " _Stop_ calling me Berry, especially in front of my fathe-!"

The word was bitten off, strangled in his throat, but Rey didn't notice it as Han did. The former war hero took a step back, eyes wide, but Rey just shrugged.

"Maybe stop calling me scrappy and I won't call you Berry anymore!"

Han looked at them all with wide eyes, stepping back more, "Get out of there."

Rey and Finn climbed out, leaving a struggling Ben to try and heft BB-8 out of their temporary prison. As soon as the droid was free it zoomed behind Rey until Ben clambered out, then going and hitting the back of his knees, knocking him forwards. Stumbling and nearly falling back down into the hole in the floor, Rey and Finn both grabbed an arm as the scavenger turned to snarl at the droid.

"BB-8!" 

"Ben, is that you?" Han took a hesitant step forward, "Where the hell-?"

"How do you know Berry?" Rey butted in again, "He never mentioned his grandfather."

"I'm his  _father_ , not his  _grandfather_!" Han griped, sending her a dirty look.

Rey's eyes widened, all the breath leaving her in a  _whoosh_ as she sent Ben a wide-eyed gaze, "That's...your father? We found your family?"

"If only I wanted to find them." The dark-haired youth snarked, "Kriff knows I've been holed up on  _Jakku_ for nine years because I wanted to find my family!"

Finn blinked, his eyes wide as he grabbed Rey's arm, "Uh...we're gonna...um...pilot's cabin. Yeah. BB-8, c'mon!"

Finn dragged Rey behind him, making her hit his shoulder lightly, "I can walk!"

Only the droid remained, and Ben sent it a chilly glare, "I _will_ feed you to a sarlacc. We've established this."

The droid beeped angrily, poking out his arm and sending a rain of sparks down of Ben's feet as it rolled away. Chewie took a few steps back into the hallways with a low rumble, far enough away to give them space but close enough that he could still hear.

" _Jakku_?" Han took a step forward, reaching a hand out when Ben didn't move, "That junkyard."

Ben nodded stiffly, not looking him in the eye. Han sighed, "What the hell, Ben?"

"I had to escape getting  _kidnapped_ by the First Order all by myself." The force-sensitive spat out, all the venom of nine years coming up to dance on his tongue, "No one came after me. No one gave two shits. So I crawled out the bathroom window next to the airlock the same damn day and stole a ship, crash landing it onto Jakku, the hell planet that it is, so they couldn't track me there."

Han blinked, his hand which had been hovering mid-air falling back down to his side, "You mean...you were  _taken_? You didn't go-?"

He didn't finish the sentence, but Ben picked up where he left off with a sneer, " _Willingly_? No, but thank you for the never ending support. I can see you really believe in me."

"Ben..." Han made a hopeless motion with his hands, "I...I'm at a loss here. We...your mother and I...we thought you were one of those Knights. Changed your name and..."

"Fell to the dark side?" Ben raised a single brow, "No, but once again, unbelievable support from the father of the year!"

"Luke...he went into exile..." Han tried again, "Your mother threw herself into her work...we all thought...Ben, I'm  _sorry_. We should've looked for you, but Luke was so sure. Your mother...she didn't want to know."

"So you just gave up, too?" It was said with less venom, at such a low volume Han almost didn't hear it.

"Kriff, Ben, I'm...I don't know what to tell you. Why the hell didn't you come home? Explain what happened?" Han held up his hands in surrender, "Not...not that you were at fault! Your were sixteen and running for your life but...why did you stay away?"

"What do you even know about Jakku?" Ben narrowed his eyes, "Because I can tell you I would've had to cut off my arm and leg and sold them on the black market to afford a ship from Unkar Plutt. Even still, I might be short! I barely scavenged enough to survive. I haven't eaten anything but quarter rations in  _nine years_."

Han had a look of horror on his face that Ben supposed only a parent could achieve, and something in his heart shifted. Crushing down any sparks of hope, he averted his gaze, "I saw the Falcon when it landed on Jakku."

His father said nothing, so Ben just continued with a twist to his mouth and narrowed eyes, "I was, what, eighteen? I saw the ship land and I got so kriffing excited. I thought you'd actually found me, you actually gave enough of a shit to look. Then I found out Unkar Plutt had stolen it from the Irving Boys who had stolen it from Ducain. So much for getting my hopes up, huh?"

Han sighed, running a hand over his face, "And how did you end up here?"

Ben looked at him, a deadpan expression on his face, "Poe and the other so-called resistance fighter in there, the man, crash landed on Jakku. Poe...didn't make it, apparently. The First Order was after them because BB-8 has a map to Luke Skywalker. A bunch of stormtroopers ambushed Rey and I after we helped Finn at the Outpost, and we had to run or get killed. Speaking of, we have to get the droid back to the resistance."

"After all that...Ben, please come home." Han reached forward, hesitantly placing a hand on his son's shoulder, "Your mother...she...misses you. A lot."

"Then why'd she send me away?" Ben pursed his lips.

"We couldn't train you." Han cringed slightly, "I didn't want to, but your mom and Luke agreed it was for the best."

"I haven't used the force hardly at all for nine years and I've been just fine." Ben's face twisted up into a scowl, "Honestly, fuck the force."

His father's hand fell from his shoulder in shock before Han let out a sharp laugh, surveying Ben with disbelieving eyes, "And Luke was worried you idolized Vader. Looks like you're more like your old man than you thought."

"As if anyone would idolize that bastard." He pushed away the thought that Snoke  _had_ planted that seed in his head as a child, "Who wants to look like a kriffing black trash can anyways?"

He tried to crush the flame of hope growing in his chest when for the first time, the  _first kriffing time_ , Han looked at him with something other than confused disbelief and disappointment. No, instead the other man almost looked proud.

"So...you'll come home?" Han pursed his lips slightly, "Please, Ben."

He thought of Rey, who'd basically become his begrudging companion ever since she was dropped off on Jakku like unwanted garbage. They way she'd attached herself to him, and the way he'd seen her grow up. His heart shriveled a bit at the thought of her going back to Jakku alone. 

He gave Han a hard look, "If Rey stays."

His father blinked in surprise, "The girl-?"

Suddenly they heard what sounded like gunfire in the distance. Ben froze, looking up with wide eyes, "The First Order?"

"I wish." He muttered right as Rey and Finn skidded into the room with wide eyes, "Don't tell me a Rathtar's gotten loose."

Finn looked at him with wide eyes, " _What_?"

"Did you just say a kriffing Rathtar? You have  _Rathtars_ on this ship?" Ben yelled after his father, running after him.

They all ended up off the Falcon, onto the freighter that Han piloted. The old war hero cursed colorfully, "Oh great, it's the Guavian Death Gang!"

"The  _what_?" Ben snapped tersely.

"They must've tracked us from Nantoon." Han muttered, walking off towards one of the hallways.

"Will someone tell me what a Rathtar is?" Rey asked, getting no response as she followed everyone deeper into the freighter.

Han hooked a blaster on his belt as he stood in front of one of the entrances to the freighter. Suddenly, a giant eye slammed up against the window in the door behind them, making everyone besides Han and Chewie jump.

" _That's_ a Rathtar." Han waved a hand at it.

"What are you planning on doing?" Ben demanded, "The  _Guavian Death Gang_ doesn't exactly sound friendly!"

"I'll talk my way out of it like I always do."

Chewie gave a contradictory growl, making Ben turn to his father with narrowed eyes, "Really? Always? Not what I just heard."

Han blinked in surprise.

"Yes, I still know Wookie!" The force-sensitive spat, "It's not like I'd forget it!"

"I  _do_ always talk myself out of it." Han reassured, sending a glare and a pointed finger at Chewie, "Every time! Hide out of sight, now. Ben, you should know where. The droid will stay up here, too much clanging will draw their attention."

"Well, kriff, let's sit back and watch this crash and burn," Ben muttered as they slid down the hallway to remain out of sight, getting a growl of agreement from Chewie as the Wookie and his father slid the door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is becoming more and more like his mother every second he's exposed to his father's exploits tbh. Also, more feels next chapter and Ben and Rey, the dynamic-reluctant-force-wielding-duo saving everyones asses! I really love this story tbh lmao and I hope you guys like it! Drop a comment and let me know what you'd like to see. 
> 
> I wonder how the hell Leia's gonna react to all of this, especially because she never even tried to look for him physically and couldn't find him in the force initially because Ben cut himself off at first because he know Snoke would be looking for him.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed!


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